If i come over, it means nothing
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
