Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
