Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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