I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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