yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize