Farmville is her only friend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
