I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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