So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize