I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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