you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
