well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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