your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
