he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
