i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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