I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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