glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
