SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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