My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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