I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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