She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
