i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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