Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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