It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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