How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
