My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i think im in europe. pls send help
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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