Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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