Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
