Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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