I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
