oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
