Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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