A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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