she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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