First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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