If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your penis caused this!
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