Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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