My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
