tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
