worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
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I have feelings that need drinking.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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