I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
