Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
