It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize