You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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