If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
