I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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