so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
