There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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