his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm always down for nudity.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize