sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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