then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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