Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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