I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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