well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
be right there i have to get my cape
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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