Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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