Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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