Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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