New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
