I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
