Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
