I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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