She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
