i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he thought i was a dude.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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