You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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